Day Three of Chemo Complete!

This is just going to be a short little update because I know some of the family reading this will worry if they don't hear from me.

Today's chemo round went good- felt pretty good all day and just bored. Can't wait to do outpatient chemo for the right of my treatments. I really don't feel too bad when I'm in here- it'd be so much easier to be at home. Nothing compared to what I feel like if I had a cold or the flu or something. It's pretty manageable. It's amazing what they can do now with medications to make you feel normal.

Just two more days to go and I'm home free! And the last time to stay in the hospital ever! Now I can stay at home and get my medicine and be there with Adrian to spend time with him.

Recovery is now pretty much halfway done. Can't wait to put this behind me. Have a bright future ahead of me and Adrian- I can't wait to enjoy every minute of it.

Well that's all for now! I said it was going to be short. ;) Spent most of the day working on homework and spending time for Adrian, my mom, and friends so not lots of time for blog writing.

Until tomorrow kids!

Day Two of Chemo Complete!

Well, today is officially coming to an end so round 3 of day two is now complete! Just three more days to go!

I had a hard time sleeping last night. So I got pretty bored and started taking pictures. The lights from my IV were making me think of green hospital monsters. No seriously, look!

Okay well all know that's just the reflection of my IV lights on the window but to any regular sci-fi writer we instantly think aliens.

Or ghosts. 

And this was my ghost face. 

Oh sweet crispy cremes the ghosts are coming!! It's like Blair Witch project without the camcorder! Dr. Port Installing Hot Pants where are you?!?! Oh wait, we left him at Baycare. Booo. (See port surgery post for more descriptions on Mr. Biceps)

Seriously I bet hospitals are haunted. Think of all the things that happen here. Or don't think about it. I really shouldn't think about it.

I'm starting to get bored.

But today was filled with wonderful visitors and pizza so it was a good day. Busted out some homework and got my grades in. And I am pleased to announce I am getting all A's. Because I'm awesome like that! 

The absolute favorite part of my day was cuddling up with this little cutie:

Gosh he's just the cutest. He will be very excited that mom gets to do outpatient chemo next time around. He's too bonded to me to be a part from me for very long and it's just been too hard. One day I hope he'll look back on this (if he remembers much) and be proud of his mommy for beating this cancer. I have better things to do. 

Seen a lot of sick kids around the hospital today which just breaks my heart. I hope they're okay. And above all, I am grateful it was me instead of Adrian. After this treatment we are half way there! The light at the end of the tunnel is nearing!

And I am just so stoked that I still have my eyebrows!

Day One of Chemo!

Well the first day of chemo has been uneventful so far. Everything is going good. Almost finished with the first dose of the Rituxan and had no allergic reactions. Just felt really sleepy but that was it! We'll be starting the Doxy, Vincristine, and Etoposide any minute now and we'll be cruising on our way.

It's easier to be going through this now that we have those awesome x-ray results. At least I know the treatment is working and all this hell is worth it. Definitely improves my attitude on things. I finally have the technical terms down since I've recently been on a Googling mission. The technical term for my type of chemotherapy treatment is DA (dose adjusted) R-EPOCH. I have no idea how they come up with these abbreviations but that's the technical term.

Update: I found out what the abbreviations stand for: DA-EPOCH-R (dose-adjusted etoposide/vincristine/doxorubicin/bolus cyclophosphamide/prednisone) and rituximab.

Yikes, that's a mouthful. Some are steroids and the rest are the actual chemotherapy drugs I get. Crazy huh?

And in my Googling I found out some interesting information! It is possible to get this type of chemotherapy outpatient. Basically, you get things done during the day at the clinic and then they send you home with a little backpack thing that has your pump and chemo in it so you don't have to stay in the hospital!

YAHOOOO! So the next chemotherapy treatment we are going to try the outpatient method. Which I am STOKED about. These hospital stays were starting to make me lose my mind. Really it is better for everyone.

Yesterday we tried to have a fun 'last day before chemo' afternoon so my mom and I took Adrian to see the Easter bunny in Green Bay. I love doing holiday stuff with that little guy- it makes me so happy. We also have a routine of finding those little photo booths and taking pictures. I think the one we got yesterday was excellent.

Next time we'll have to do dinosaurs. Those things are so cool. 

I brought some projects this time around to try to keep my hands busy so I don't go insane. I decided to try crocheting! I'm going to attempt to make Adrian a blanket. I'm not very domestic as far as crafts go so we'll see if it turns out actually looking like a blanket.

So far so good, not feeling too crappy yet just sleepy. Third treatment on the way and just three more to go! 

X-Ray Day!

Pretty much spent all day at the doctor today. Had my blood work and x-ray this morning and then my results appointment! My blood work is looking good and my white blood cells are back up to a normal range. 

I must admit I was totally all over the place nervous about this x-ray. Just having it done and waiting for the results brought back 'waiting' jitters from all the results we waited for before treatment. I'm sure that's typical- that waiting period sucks. Your brain goes in a million different directions! And especially since the first two 'waiting' periods were followed with 'tumor' and then 'cancer' it's hard not to be a little shaky.

But the good news is...... (drumroll)

THE TUMOR DOESN'T EVEN SHOW UP ON THE X-RAY!

Where is that little bastard? You can't even see it!! My doctor pretty much (but nothing is ever 'for sure') confirmed for me that I will be in that 97% cure rate. YAHOOOO! So all this chemo and hell has been worth it! My treatment is working great!!!

He said there are likely cancer cells/tumor ickiness remaining but an x-ray is not as detailed as a CT scan. We'll do a CT scan after the fourth treatment to get a better look at things. But so far, so good! I'm sure not complaining. So we'll continue the treatment as planned.

Since I like to take pictures- here's a nice before and after shot:

The one on the left is the one from today and the one on the right is the initial x-ray done at my primary doctor's office that started this whole adventure.

If you look closely- that shadow of stuff on the right is my heart and junk. The x-ray on the right has more stuff hanging around on the top. That's where the tumor was/is. 

Pretty spiffy. So it was a good results day! I'll just be happy when it's all completely over with (chemo sucks) but this is great news. 

So yes, things are going well and I will be JUST FINE. :)

Just in time to start my next treatment on Wednesday which I am DREADING. I decided to try crocheting to pass the time. We'll see if this works or if I just end up wacking someone with a crochet hook. I'll keep ya all posted. 

Today was a beautiful day!

Sorry for the lax updating kids. I had one badish day (yesterday) that was followed by a pretty awesome day today so that doesn't leave a lot of time for blogging.

Today was an exciting day. My sweet coworker, Emileigh, from UW-Manitowoc offered to do pictures of Adrian and I. They turned out really beautiful. Here are a few of them:

Thank you Emileigh for such beautiful pictures. It was especially nice to dress up and feel like my normal diva self and do something fun. And that wig really is awesome. It looks better than my real hair did! The pictures are fabulous- I'm so happy with them. She does great work- check out her facebook page!

The pictures are so sweet. They really capture how close Adrian and I are bonded to each other. They will be nice to look through when I'm in chemo this week. Can't believe it's already almost chemo time again. Go figure- right when I have a really good day like today and it's almost time to start feeling like junk again. 

But after this treatment we are half way there! And Monday we do the chest x-ray so that will be good. I can't help but be nervous for that. I know that logically my treatment plan is awesome- it's actually the result of some famous study by some well known oncologist. Ooo, scholarly. It's hard not to worry though. It's hard not to have that dark 'what if this isn't working?' thoughts. But we know it is. Have to stay strong! Having tests done is nerve wracking. I'm sure I'll be a wreck for that final PET scan. That whole 'hey go sit in the dark for an hour' beforehand doesn't help the stress level for those tests. But that's a ways down the road.

Yesterday we had a full day of errands to run so we were busy bees. But sadly, I started having all those weird dizzy issues towards the end of our shopping trip where I immediately have to sit down. That's sure inconvenient when you're out and about. Seriously inconvenient. There's not always a chair. You're in the middle of a store trying to hunt down toilet paper. It sucks. That's probably the side effect I hate the most. So at the coaxing of my mother to not be embarrassed I gave in and agreed to use the motorized scooter. 

And of course, yet again we had the stares. But even worse than that- right when I got on the scooter, some lady from the service desk in Shopko (the one in GB) came over and questioned me using the scooter. After informing her of my cancer, she didn't even look abashed but continued to eye me critically like I was some hooligan stealing the scooter for some shenanigans. 

Hey, I've had plenty of shenanigans in my life but seriously lady, I really needed that scooter.

Thanks for the embarrassment, Shopko service desk lady in Green Bay. That was just peachy.

I know I've said this before but I really wish people wouldn't judge without knowing the whole story. Sure, when I slap on some makeup to cover the dark circles under my eyes, put some jeans on, and cover my bald head with a wig I look pretty healthy. Doesn't mean that's the case. Oi vey.

But for every person that treats me in this manner there are ten times as many that are showing me tons of support and love. <3

Don't let the meanies get ya down.

That's all for now kids, love ya. 

The usual fluid post with some extra rants.

Ah, fluids. A nice little pick me up before the weekend so I'm feeling good. I love the Cancer Clinic in Two Rivers- they are just lovely. I always feel so relaxed and well taken care of when I'm getting fluids. And I have a shamrock shake!

                                     

I'm on spring break right now from school! I feel like I should be on a beach somewhere enjoying it. But if I think about it I've spent every spring break working anyways so really this is like a vacation. 

Next week we have some big things happening! Chext x-ray on Monday and we get the results on Tuesday! I've managed to connect with some non-hodgkins lymphompa survivors on the internet and many people said they saw their tumor shrink by a TON after their first two chemo treatments. So I am really stoked to see the progress. After the fourth chemo treatment (I just finished the second round) we will do a CAT scan to get a closer look. Next chemo treatment starts next week and after that we're half way there! 

They gave me my blood count report while I was here and it's looking a lot better so that's great. I don't have to be so paranoid if I go out in public this weekend. The germs! The germs!

Now there is something really ugly I want to address. I know I'm sharing quite a bit with the world on this blog about my cancer but I do keep other aspects of my life private.

So I won't give every gory detail about this. 

When something as horrible as cancer happens to you: you think that those that have hurt you in your life and that would try to do battle with you would back off in face of such a horrible thing. Cancer sucks. It's horrible and even though I will be FINE- it's not an easy road. I've lost my hair, I have to get my chest stabbed with a needle all the time, I live at the doctor's office, I have other icky side effects, and my whole life is on hold while I battle this disease. 

But some people just want to kick you while you're down. They want to take some joy out of your misery by seeing your illness as an oppourtunity to attempt to exercise their control issues.

Well, one thing you learn when you have cancer: everything else becomes a whole less intimidating. Nothing is more scary than cancer.

So even if someone is trying to kick while you're down you know that they don't stand a chance.

I mean really, what are horrible and evil people compared to cancer? Nothing is worse than cancer.

One good thing that cancer does is give you such a confidence about other troubles and stresses in life. No matter what you face it won't be as bad as cancer.

I'm beating this cancer and I can beat anything else life throws at me. 

This is the part where we play a cheesy Destiny Child's song. I don't know what is with me and the 90's music lately. Let's all just listen to boy bands and get along.

Honestly, aside from the cancer everything else is really going great. Adrian is excelling in school, I'm doing great in my classes, my cat is happy, and things are looking bright for the future. Just have to get over this speed bump.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day Everyone!

I'm not wearing green just for my Irish awesomeness but green for lymphoma awareness. So I have two things to wear green for today! 

Today was a decent day- those fluids really helped me yesterday! I think I need to make that a twice a week thing- I'm going to get more on Thursday. The nurses at the clinic say that I should go for it so I'm going to. I need to find something to drink that I can drink all day long. Water isn't working. Gatorade isn't working. Any suggestions kids? I'm trying tea now and that's not so bad. Or maybe I should try Kool-Aid haha. 

I got my short wig that I ordered at the Look Good, Feel Good class this week! Had it all trimmed up today at Salon 708 (Thanks, Michelle!) and it's looking pretty snazzy. I'm impressed that it's so cute. It's from the American Cancer Society TLC catalog and they tend to cater to older women. And it was dirt cheap. It's not as great of quality as my nice long haired wig but it looks decent enough for me. Trying to look at the upside of having no hair- I can wear different wigs all the time and have different hair styles!

I had another good day today which was amazing. To have two good days in a row is just brilliant. Having cancer makes you really appreciate life in a whole new light. Something as small as going to the park becomes on par with Disneyland. Being able to put on your makeup without taking breaks in between foundation, eyeliner, and eye shadow feels like you completed a marathon. Being able to drive (usually it takes me a day or two after chemo before I'm up for it) feels like you're being handed the keys of freedom. Every little thing becomes significantly more precious. The smile on my son's face. The rays of sun coming through the clouds. The smell of flowers on my kitchen table. The beauty I see every day in everyone's caring and supporting actions. 

Life is beautiful and it is precious. We only get one shot at it and we should make it count. At any second something could happen to change everything. You could get hit by a bus. You could get in a car accident. Your plane could crash. You could have a heart attack. 

You could get cancer.

So my cheesy corny (real cheddar, baby) piece of advice: enjoy your life. Every moment is precious when you're healthy. Don't ever take it for granted. I know I won't when this is all said and done. After I kick this cancer's ass (yes!) I will live every day to the fullest and appreciate my time on this earth. 

It's not like I didn't before. I really did enjoy my life. But I was completely oblivious to my own mortality. And let's face it. When you're young that is completely normal.

But just because you're young doesn't mean that you're immortal. 

Enjoy the sunshine loves.