Live by Living Family Retreat

Okay, I did not fall off a mountain.

Our cabin!

My every spare waking moment has been dedicated to lesson planning, teaching, grading, and reading theory so there hasn't been a lot of time for blog writing. And all the other time has been volunteering at kiddo's school, spending time with him, working with him on his reading, and so on.

My life is pretty jam packed. But I love it.

That being said, the Live by Living family retreat was amazing.

The cabins we stayed at were beautiful. The sleeping cabin was buried in the trees next to thee beautiful aspen trees. We were only there a short while and spotted a deer right next to the porch. We weren't too far out in the mountains but far enough in to feel like we were buried in wilderness.

The first day we met the other families (three other groups besides us) and went on a hike. That was fun and Adrian loved it. He's a little mountain boy- he thrives up there. All the kids were fairly close in age which was great. They totally pampered us. Served us amazing food, helped with the kids, and just let us relax in the afternoon. I got to have some nice reflection that day as I stared into the mountains.

The view from the porch

I felt engulfed in the mountain and it was beautiful.

And exactly what I needed.

That night we had a great dinner, the kids played games, and we had a campfire. Adrian was just nonstop having a blast the entire time bonding with the other kids. And it was so nice for me to meet other survivors. There is nothing like that shared understanding. Someone who knows exactly what you've been through and what that feels like. There
are not nearly enough words for how relieving that felt to me.

My entire treatment was so isolating. The first three hospital stays I didn't interact with anyone besides hospital staff and my friends/family. No other survivors. My last three rounds were outpatient so while I spent a ton of time sitting in that chemo chair my age isolated me there as well. I never fully realized until this retreat how desperate I was to have that shared understanding with someone else. To relate to people that get it. Totally friggen get it. And that was beautiful.

I can't say enough good things about the Live by Living organization. If you're a survivor and you're reading this, I encourage you to go on one of their retreats. Dan Miller (founder) is wonderful and the work he is doing to empower people impacted by cancer is great.

The following day we went on a giant mother of killer hikes. The hike to end all hikes. Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad. But that is probably the hardest I have pushed myself physically so far. It was intense, exhausting, and liberating. When I asked I think he said a little under 5 miles round trip. That is my longest hike yet. I know my body is not back to normal. The neuropathy was on fire, my feet were going numb, my breath was coming in bursts, and my legs were burning. But it was great. My body reminded me that it still works. It's still alive. It still endures. And the view at the top was worth all the pain to get there. Being in the mountains is so healing for me on so many levels. I can feel the earth alive around me and when we looked up into the sky that night it reminded me of how small we really are. In the grand scheme of things, my cancer is just an ant scattering across the surface. It's a blip on the radar.

Day One Hike

Of course, that's not how it is for me. But I want it to be that distant. I want it to be that small. And maybe one day it will be. But for now, I can find peace and embrace in the mountains. And that's the next best thing.

There is healing power in nature. In physical endurance. In breathtaking views. In the accomplishments your body makes.

It's a wonderful thing. The volunteers were great at helping us along for the hike. Adrian stuffed a backpack full of rocks (literally- FULL) that now is still sitting in our laundry room. He bonded with other kids that have been impacted by cancer too and on so many levels that was amazing to see. It was a healing trip for both of us.

One of the best things that came out of it was the lasting connections I made with some of the people there and even though we all live very far away we can connect with each other online if need be.

It was a great trip and we had a wonderful time. Next year I want to go on another one. There really is something about nature that heals.

"The mountains are calling and I must go." -John Muir 

More information on Live by Living can be found here.