Day Three!

Day three is going smoothly so far. A little bit of nausea when I woke up but once I took my steroids I was good to go. Energy levels are starting to dip a little bit but overall they're not too bad yet. The nice weather definitely helps to make me want to stay active.

At the clinic getting my usual bag of fluids, pre-meds, and pump refuel. That usually takes about three hours and then I'm on my way! And the view is extra pretty today.

The skin around my eyes has been so angry. I hope that means more eyelashes aren't going to fall out. My eyes just burn and ache. They're all puffy in the morning and purple underneath. I have my fancy pants eye treatment I got from the Look Good, Feel Good class and that does wonders. And makeup- thank god for makeup. 

See? You can't even tell. 

It must be from the chemo because my skin was starting to improve and once the chemo started it was all purple and angry all over again. 

Booo, chemo. 

Having some chest congestion so they're going to slap me on an antibiotic just to be on the safe side. We don't want any infections when we're this close to the finish line.

Maybe it's just all those years of smoking coming out of my chest still- who knows.

But at least smoking DID NOT cause this. That's a small comfort that I didn't bring this on myself in any way. It was just a random, you have shitty luck, cancer. 

I think the fact we're moving so close after my treatment done is a good thing. It's going to help me be able to move on and try to forget about this battle.

Not that I will ever forget.

But I will have to learn to focus on the future and not live in fear. Fear that it will return. Fear that the chemo will have long term side effects. Fear that I will get some other type of cancer. Fear of mortality.

You just have to live. Every day is a privilege. Every moment is something to not take for granted.