I've had numerous people ask me to share my poetry. Since they found my tumor I have been writing along the way. Some days are harder than others. Before the chemo started it was easier to write. During all those tests, biopsies, and scans I had my nose glued in my journal. It was the only way I could cope and stay strong. I would pick up that pen and just start writing- even if it didn't make sense. In the room waiting for my biopsy results. In the patient area before my first oncology appointment. In the chapel after I found out I might not be able to have more children after this is over.
So I think I am going to let you all into my mind a little further. Here is the first poem I wrote after I found out about my tumor. This was before I knew if it was cancerous or not. If I was going to die or not. Only that I had a 9cm tumor hanging out in my chest region. I curled up in bed with my journal and just let out my anger, frustration, and musings.
Mass
parasite
submerging- depleting
a fork in the light
a blunt black bastard
draining, flaming, seeping
patron puckered plastered
sycophant
fawning-festering
a scribbled word for liniment
voltage velocity hits the vein
roaring, scraping, clawing
battle drawn tenacious tiger
leech
absorbing-chewing
Father- empty your screeching preach
exterminate the catalyst
exorcising, purging, cleansing
your blasphemy fails to manifest.
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