Birthday Mania!

Hey everyone, do you like my new wigs?

Look it's Shirley Temple!!! I'm the redheaded stepchild!!

 What time is it? Mullet time!!!!

I really liked this color. It's sassy and fun! I was able to borrow one that looks similar in color but just shaped a lot more flattering. Sometimes I might just feel like being a red head!

Ahhhh! All those gray hairs came in! I knew they would the instant I turned 28!!!!

I was lucky yesterday. I don't know if I was just over hyper because it was my birthday but I had a GOOD day. The side effects from the chemo did not drag me down too much throughout the day. I felt like I went a little manic from having real energy so we had a busy, busy day. 

But it felt so good to be busy. 

The wig pictures are from this awesome Look Good, Feel Good event I went to hosted by the American Cancer Society at Aurora hospital. It was so awesome. I got a giant bag of designer makeup- easily worth up to 300 dollars. So YAY for makeup I would normally NEVER spend that much money on. They showed us how to fill in our eyebrows (in case they decide to take an exit thanks to the chemo), tie different types of scarves/turbans, and wig care tips. After the wig care tips we were tossed a giant box of wigs to try on!

And that's when I found that mullet wig. I'm not sure who would willingly pick out a mullet wig. Maybe the cancer has you so depressed you feel like there's no hope? The will to live as been eaten away and replaced by a synthetic mullet? Either way, if you want a mullet- wear the mullet. 

So that was fun. Props to the American Cancer Society for hosting that because I was able to meet other women with cancer, have a lot of giggles, and learned a ton of 'cancer beauty tips' I was unaware of. Awesomeness. Pro tip: if you get the big C- make sure you get yourself to one of those events!

So other than my wig selfie marathon, my birthday was a success. Since I can't drink (not that I was a heavy drinker to begin with) I decided I earned a manicure. 

Pink polka dots! That was a good idea. My sister was an angel and called ahead to get me a gift certificate. Thanks sis, love ya. So I think that's going to become an in between chemo tradition. Since I can't drink Starbucks anymore (coffee tastes nasty to me now-it's a tragedy) all that saved coffee money can go to biweekly manicures after chemo treatments. If you look good, you feel good. I really do believe in that philosophy for myself. It's important. Diva it up!

I was struck by an insane dedicated desire to make a fairy garden. I got some birthday money (thanks Grandma!) and was able to use that to start my garden. This was actually really good for me. It was nice to have a project and put all my restless energy into something productive. I think that will be a good way to continue to cope with things- especially on days if I don't have enough energy to go out and about. Projects, lots of projects! Maybe I should learn how to knit!! 

So I went to Ivy Trails in downtown Manitowoc to begin my fairy adventure. That is a great little shop- worth checking out! I finished at Hobby Lobby where I found the container and all the craft supplies. I wanted my fairy garden to be portable so I can bring it to chemotherapy with me. I know, like I don't bring enough as it is. But I want my room to be pretty!!! And this fairy garden just makes me happy. 

So ta-da!

I don't know why I was so determined to make this garden and make it NOW. Maybe it was because I can feel the sense of control over my own life slipping and I just wanted to have full control over something else. Even if it's just little miniature fairies in a fake garden. I think it turned out beautiful and will be a nice thing to bring to chemo treatments with me. 

I feel that sometimes I've been down playing how hard this has been so far on here. I don't mean to but I've never been one to sit and talk about my emotions in a healthy, non-joking way. I don't like emotions in most contexts. It's easier for me to deal with sarcasm and humor. But this has been a hard road so far. The side effects suck. Yesterday I felt great all day which was fabulous. Yet I pay for that today when I wake up in so much pain I can barely get out of bed. It comes and goes. I just want to keep living my life as normally as possible but sometimes I forget that things are not normal. I have cancer and I need to understand my limitations. And take help when it's offered. Rest when I can. 

But anyone who knows me well knows that 'rest' is a foreign concept when there's something I could be planning or vacuuming. But I'm trying.

And this is the part I want to give another shout out to all of those that have been my wonderful caregivers, helpers, and support since I got home.

I would have never been able to do this without my mom. I couldn't imagine going through this without her by my side to help me every step of the way.

My brother and his wife Brenda have been amazing from everything to taking Adrian for fun activities and helping around the house. Thanks guys.

My friends, all of you, are just the best. I'm amazed sometimes by what a wonderful motley crew I managed to accumulate over the years. 

All my family in Colorado for the constant support and encouragement across the miles. I miss you all so much.

And Adrian. That little boy has been the best support. Every time I look at him it makes me stronger. Every fighting step I take is for him. 

So thank you, all of you. And to those who have been donating, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I said this on Facebook but it bears repeating on here. When I was first diagnosed with cancer I had never felt more alone. But since I announced my diagnosis, I have never felt more loved.

So moral of the story? Try on fun wigs. Make sure you find that Look Good, Feel Good event. Get a manicure. And build yourself a fairy garden.