So you have cancer. Now what?

I'll tell you what. A big god damn drill in your butt, that's what.

At least if you have non-Hodgkins lymphoma.

Let's back track here.

We met with my oncologist on February 5th, 2015. She is awesome- as I have mentioned. She keeps things real with me so far.

So we found out more information and drum roll...........

A rare form (lucky me) of non-Hodgkins B-Cell Lymphoma. She said this cancer doesn't really have stages but if it did- it's in the first stage so yay! But the big words here are: CURABLE and TREATABLE.

Oh holy crispy cremes, we have hit the cancer jackpot folks.

So that was all good. I was flying high on that news. The news about five day straight chemotherapy every three weeks- accompanied with the loss of my hair, my fertility, and my ability to maintain my hectic work/school balance was not taken as well. I AM going to finish my last semester and get my Bachelor's degree- that's a given. I don't care how bald I am- I will be in class getting my 4.0. But my doc wasn't too thrilled about me going to school AND working at a school. You college kids are germy. Risk of illness is not a good thing right now. So no working for me. That is what is going to put me in some severe financial issues. The constant commutes to Green Bay (roughly 40 miles from where I live) and other travel expenses are not helping. It all is adding up fast. Hence, the GoFundMe account created by my mom hanging out on the left side of the page. I hate asking for charity but it is necessary as everyone tells me so I'll be a good girl and accept it. Thanks to all who have donated so far. You are all my angels. I don't believe in religion and this whole cancer experience certainly isn't getting me to buy what they're selling. But I believe in humanity and I never felt it so hard these past days than I have in my entire life. So thank you all, I love you to pieces.

But back to the good shit.

A drill, guys. She even pulled out a tool box. WARNING: GROSS biopsy pictures await you after this point. Well, just one. Or two.

The drill of doom.

Look at that thing!!! Well, a bone biopsy was necessary because there's a chance (scary!) that the cancer has invaded my bone marrow. But a slim chance, according to my doc. We find out the results of this fun bone party on Wednesday. I probably shouldn't have been taking selfies with her bone drill when she left the room.

Seriously, back to this drill. She actually took it out of a tool box.

The portal to hell.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you. If you ever have to get one of these, you ask for all the drugs they'll give you and ask for a stick in the mouth- Game of Thrones style.

Seriously. The nurse I had, sweetest lady in the world, let me hold her hand and I thought I was going to break her bones. I should probably send her some money for the carpal tunnel I probably inflicted on her. Again, we have a shout out to nurses. She was wonderful. That was literally more painful than childbirth (I should know, my kid was 9lbs) and she helped me get through it. I managed to remember her name after all the feel good drugs, so shout out to Char Ross at the Cancer Clinic at Baycare. You have all the warm fuzzies from me.

I don't even know how to describe it. Probably like someone is sucking marrow out of your bone? Through your ass bone? Tail bone, whatever. It's in a sensitive area. That was seriously some sci-fi Aliens vs. Predators type business. Even the writer doesn't have words or adjectives for that one. I could probably make a cool noise for you though, if you're interested.

Here's the gross pictures I promised you. (I always keep my promises)

My friggen bone marrow

Bone marrow blood.

Ewwwwww! Who in the hell asks to take a picture of stuff like that?

Me. Of course. Hey, it's mine! I deserve to see it. So far this is the most traumatizing thing I've gone through physically.

Oh it just feels like a bee sting, they said. Just a little pull, they said.

It was quick though. So thank goodness for small mercies. And I have a cool picture with a bone marrow drill. That's profile picture material right there.

Yeah, grumpy cat hung out during the bone marrow biopsy. Pretty sure he thinks I was being a big baby but what the hell does he know. Stupid cat.