But boy do I miss work. And normalcy. Sometimes I get reaaaally bummed about it when I think about what a 'normal' Monday, Tuesday, etc. would be like. I have to try not to dwell though. My online classes are going good- I'm keeping up very well considering the circumstances and pulling A's in the ones where the grades have come in. So that's awesome.
I do love the cancer clinic I go to. The nurses there are so wonderful and fuzzy. They bring you Dilly bars and hot blankets while you get your fluids- it's amazing. And (as pictured) I found another silky hat in the hat basket. Which made my day! I love silky hats because they feel the best on my angry scalp. I know I'm clashing a bit but we're keeping it real. I was wearing my wig today but that thing gets uncomfortable. We take that shit off at the cancer clinic and put on the clashing silky hat.
Yesterday I actually went to the store in jeans and my wig so I felt like a real person. I was so dizzy (duh, just got out of chemo that morning) so I couldn't walk without feeling like I was going to pass out. But I just wanted to get out of the house and be out in the world so we went for it. Plus I needed groceries. So I used the motorized chair after a lot of coaxing from my mother to swallow my pride and just use it.
Once you get over the initial embarrassment and sucking up your pride- it's not so bad. The stares I got were unbelievable though. One lesson for the world: do not judge a situation you know nothing about. I wasn't being one of those hooligans that abuse the motorized cart privilege. I was waiting for one of those people in the store glaring at me to say something so I could whip off my wig and show them my big bald egg. People these days. No manners.
The insomnia I'm having is really getting old. I hope that quits soon. It's like my brain just won't shut off! It just whirls and whirls and whirls. So I just get up and start doing random cleaning. Which I should be resting but I'm not a good listener. I'm trying, guys.
Today was half good and half bad. First half wasn't too shabby even though I didn't sleep but once I got that white blood cell shot the wicked bone pain kicked in. Hate that bone pain. But I'd rather have bone pain than vomiting so no big complaints here!
The beautiful weather is doing wonders for my morale- I hope it keeps up! Thanks to everyone for all the support (I can never 'thank' too many times)- it's been such a sunshine in this darkness. <3
Ohhhh, your cart. :'/. Someone needs to come up with a flag or a license plate that you can put on them that says something like "I hate grocery shopping but I'm glad I'm still alive to do it" or "I'm using this cart so your tax dollars don't have to pay someone to do the shooping for me" so the village idiots stop glaring. Wear your Lymphomanic shirt and flip them off. Use the horn. And give 'em something to really stare at - buy a pink wig. ;)
ReplyDeleteRight? I can't believe how rude people can be. A fellow cancer patient at the clinic was telling me that when he used his handicap sticker at the store he had some jerk chasing after him abusing him for doing so. On the outside cancer patients might appear healthy and normal but that's not the case.
DeleteI should get a pink wig :D