Shave time!!!

Today was the big day.

We had ourselves a little hair party/shave fest.

Well, I wouldn't say it was a party because there was no taco dip.

Why wasn't there taco dip?

But we did have blue and pink hair dye. So that's pretty awesome.

I really, really wanted to do a mohawk before the final shave. I found that was extremely necessary.

And that made a huge difference in how I handled this emotionally.

It was easier to laugh off this horrible situation by using goofy hair styles as a coping mechanism. 

Because mohawks are just awesome. 

So yeah that's probably the coolest I ever looked. 

This has been a hard journey to get to this point. From the moment I found out I was going to lose my hair my self esteem has been severely shaken. But I can't let this define me. I am not my hair. I am a kickass person. And it doesn't matter if I have hair or not.

Honestly, I'm relieved that it's done and over with. Now I can play with scarves, hats, and wigs. I can just accept it and move on. No more hair, it's all done. The moment it started falling out I was on a constant edge of my seat just waiting to see a bald spot. Just waiting to touch my hair and see strands coming out on my fingers.

Even though it was a difficult moment it was like releasing a breath I've been holding. 

So it's over. The baldness is here and that's just okay. I've got lots of creative ways to deal with it. I'm not going to lie- I'm a bit freaked out. I don't want to look at my head in the mirror if it's not covered up. But that will come with time. It will take time to deal with this and adjust. 

So here are the pictures from our hair shaving/dying/mohawk party!

One half of the mohawk done!

Mohawk painting!

Cotton candy mohwak!

Brenda, my sister-in-law, helping style my awesome mohawk

Hardcore!

And... the baldness. That's my wonderful brother, Rodger.

Yeah so the mohawk was fun. I'm so happy we did that because it did wonders for making a bad situation into something fun. I look rather badass with a mohawk- that might have to be a new look for me. I don't think it matches my minivan though!

So in preparation for my baldness, I spent all morning working on my scarf tying skills. And I must say there are tons of different ways to make scarves look like really pretty hair.

I think this design is my favorite so far: 

Now that looks pretty sweet. It will do. I found an awesome website with tons of different scarf tying ideas. The instructions for this style and many others are here. It's a great website with plenty of possibilities. So it's a good alternative for days when I don't feel like putting on a wig.

So the time has come. And I'm alive. I'm breathing. I didn't start on fire.

I still have my power. My hair might have been falling out from the chemotherapy but I ultimately made the decision to be bald. To call for the clippers and go straight to that stage.

And I am still a wonderful mother, a compassionate friend, a passionate writer, an empathetic soul, and my literary mind is the same as it ever was. My bald head has nothing to do with any of that.

It will be okay. It's just hair.